Saying Goodbye
by sansone
Summary: Episode Tag for "Kill Ari Part 1". Abby has another vision of Kate. Written for the "Because of You I've Changed for Good" challenge on NFA.


When you lose someone, nothing makes sense. _Kate's dead? Kate's dead. My best friend. Dead. Kate? Kate. _You wonder when the last time you saw them was and there is a sense of urgency in getting it _right. _It won't bring them back, you know that. _My lab for lunch. Made fun of DiNozzo fake barfing at the sight of tofu. Timmy ate his veggie burger. _You then ask yourself, what were you doing when you got The Call?If you're lucky and you remember, you'll be replaying that moment for the rest of your life; if not, you'll be left with even less to hold on to. _"Gibbs? Are you crying? What's going on –" Sound of shattered glass and rivers of nail polish painting the marble tiles black. Thunderstorm and tears, red eyes and loose pigtails._

* * *

It's still raining and if Abby can hear it from down here, then it must be one hell of a storm. Sitting cross-legged under the imposing frame of Gibbs' boat, Abby wipes another tear off her cheek. She's a mess again – _still _– and she pulls at the sleeves of his hoodie, letting the oversized sweater swallow her whole –

"Remember that one time in Cape Cod? Can't believe you convinced me to go skinny dipping – in the _pouring _rain."

"Kate?" Abby looks up and sees her standing by the staircase, hand on the railing. She looks real, whole, _alive;_ but she_'s_ still just a figment of her imagination.

"I know, I know. It might have been my idea. But it was summer rain, Abs, and it felt so good and then running to the shore, I have no idea how –" Kate looks stunned as realization dawns upon her. "Why are we in Gibbs' basement?"

Abby chuckles. "His door was unlocked. Besides, I didn't want to go sleep in my –" _Coffin. _She laughs until tears prick her eyes, startles when she feels Kate's hand on her shoulder. She's hysterical. She can almost hear Kate saying _You're a mess, girl, _hear the echo of these words, reiterated.

"Take care of him, Abs," Kate whispers. She sits down opposite Abby, tucking her feet under her. "You can do all I couldn't do. Take care of everyone."

Abby's pigtails bob faintly. "Okay. Count on me, Kate." She even manages a small salute. _Gibbs will be proud._

"Always have, Abs." Kate smiles, running her fingers across the smooth surface of the hull. "I mean, we'd make really sucky friends if we couldn't trust each other..."

Abby can't help but grin. Kate is – _was – _her best friend, her partner in crime and she's allowed to say that. So what if they work in law enforcement? She can handcuff herself, _thank you very much_. That one time they'd tricked Tony and she, _no, _they won the bet? Priceless. Spas, lunches, brunches, sleepless nights and endless talks. She'd miss the quiet, too, because it was never silent; it spoke a ton. She'd miss it all. She looks down at the trembling hands in her lap and slips her eyes shut, a lone tear trickling down her cheek.

As if having read her mind, Kate murmurs, "I'll miss you, too." She leans forward, brushing away the tears on Abby's cheek with her thumb. "We had a great run, though. Don't forget that."

Abby looks up, one corner of her mouth lifting into a half-smile. She watches Kate run her fingers through her long, white locks. "That wig looks itchy." When Kate nods, _vigorously, _Abby cracks a wider smile.

"I don't know if I can wear this any longer, Abs." Kate tries to adjust her wig, but it doesn't really work out. "Might be our last time."

"Okay," Abby whispers, reluctant to let her go, but knowing that she'll have to, _eventually. _That image of her, at least. The rest of it, _the Kate essence, _will live in her forever, like a permanent tattoo engraved on skin. She tightens the hold of one hand over the other.

"But let me say before I go. I forgive you. The tat on my bum? Ducky was a complete gentleman about it."

Abby chuckles, loudly, _freely_. "Sorry, Kate. It's all my fault –"

Kate winks at her. "_I _think there's blame to share. Besides, it doesn't matter anymore."

Abby chuckles again, letting her hands fall to her sides. She hesitates but reaches forward, reaches for Kate and wraps her arms around her, closing her eyes. "I'm glad we met, Kate. Because I knew you, I've –"

"Abs?" Gibbs' voice startles her and she turns around, her arms still hugging her knees. "What are you doing?"

"Saying goodbye."


End file.
